Let’s Talk Punishment!

Do these faces really look like someone you can get mad at? A conflict my husband and I battle on a daily is how to punish our boys. Well “POW POW” as we call spanking on the butt is a phrase we have used in the past when one of them act up because we always knew that way as new parents. But spanking isn’t the answer it doesn’t really teach your kids the answer to what they did wrong. It can be used even as just a threat and not necessarily the action of spanking, your making your kids more afraid of you than learning from their mistakes! Don’t you see your child doing that same mistake or thing that made you angry over and over again! What are you constantly going to spank them what does that teach them?

What my husband and I have come to agree on is sitting them down and speaking with them and explaining listen mommy and daddy don’t like when you do this, let me show you what you can do instead and redirect them to a different activity. Do our kids get on our last nerves of course have we yelled at them yes! I tell myself all the time ok yelling does nothing I’m not going to do that again, but in the heat of the moment don’t we all just get frustrated!! After yelling at them we feel guilty we go in their room hug them play with them and explain mommy and daddy were just mad, but we love you!

Kids don’t mean harm they are kids they are learning, from what they watch-on tv, what they see at school, what they see in public, and some cases (sad) but what they see at home! We are our children’s role model and they look up to us, I agree we don’t kick and scream and do the things they do, but they have learned that it gets your attention whether it’s good or bad.

I spoke with my sons doctors one day while we were there for a visit and I asked how do we stop him from saying “No” and being bad? He said simple stop responding to those behaviors ignore him. So right then and there we had an example my son locked me out of my phone and he was screaming because he wanted it back to play games! He cried he hit and yelled, the doctor said ignore him he will get over it. Sure enough this little guy in 2 minutes acted like nothing happened! But then I told him he needed to sit and he said “NO” so I asked him again. The doctor said that’s your problem your kids are learning that you are going to keep asking until that action is done, instead of keep asking just do it take him and sit him down! The more you ask the longer the child knows he can get away with not doing that certain thing! Well he didn’t listen, the doctor looked at my son and he said, “Boy your mama said sit down” he looked at him and said “No”. I just laughed as much as I shouldn’t have, but this is what we go through!!! So the doctors advice is great I never even thought of doing that we don’t think like toddlers!

The doctor also pointed out that my son thinks he’s alpha over my whole family he beats up his older brother, he yells at his parents, sure and he gets away with it! Well the doctor said it’s time to take that alpha title back as parents! Till this day we still have some out burst we try to control when they just get under our skin, but most of the time it’s redirecting them and timeout!!!!

Yes I said it time-out!!!! They sit there until they have learned their lesson and then I talk to them and say are you done are you going to help clean your room, will you be nice to your brother go give him a hug, are you going to stop jumping on your bed? Well it seems to have worked some, again it’s a work in progress, but they are learning teamwork, they are learning hugging instead of fighting, their kids we shouldn’t necessarily punish them, but talk to them about maybe what they can do better next time! I know everyone has their own opinions on punishment, but here are mine and my sons doctor really put into perspective things that I never even thought about until I was told!